Poker, Where For Art Thou?

It's been a long time since we've talked, poker.

And I'm not going to give you the "It's not you, it's me" speech.

Because it's you.

Please hear me out, I have a lot to say.

You're not getting much good press these days. You just finished the WSOP main event, usually the biggest poker day of the year. And it went by with a whimper. I think that November nine thing was a dud.

I also had a hard time getting over the UB and AP cheating scandals. I'm waiting to see what 60 Minutes is going to say about that.

All you left me with were PokerStars and Full Tilt for safe playing options. Even these sites are rife with multi-accounting and poor game selection. Not to mention a banking mechanism that could collapse at any given moment for extended periods of time.

Online poker, my first love, you have turned into such a technology war with the data mining and odds calculators. It's becoming more apparent with each passing day it's harder and harder to find a fair game. If you ain't cheatin' (or angle shooting), you ain't tryin'.

All you've left me with is your bastard cousin, live poker. He charges an awful amount of rake and he doesn't live nearby. And you can forget about rakeback, rewards or overlays. What a bastard.

Now I'm finding out that you've pissed off the Bush administration enough that they are working on last minute regulations to kick you in the nuts.

Poker, I've given you a lot of time, money and love over the last five years. And up to last year, you had mostly returned the favor.

If you can't find a way to show your love, I'm going to have to let you go.